Had to pick my mate’s kid up from ice hockey camp today. Flynn is having a great time. Me not so much. Had to help peel all the stinky sweaty gear off the kid and then put them in the storage room. Gross. There is no longer any mystery what happens down in the rooms at the rink. I dont know what I thought happened down there but the reality is way less glamourous. Not as sexy as Keanu makes it look.
I’ve been rather depressed since the end of the AIHL season when my team, Melbourne Ice, made the playoffs but lost in the grand final to our nemesis. Not happy. So to ameliorate this dire situation I’ve been watching NHL games and the Men’s Ice Hockey finals at Sochi.
My housemate doesn’t like sportsball but she’s learnt two things about ice hockey these last five weeks. She now knows who Sidney Crosby is and the commentary of any ice hockey game will be peppered by seriously funny homoerotic innuendo. Neither of us have figured out if this is on purpose for entertainment value. The best proponent was Robert Tennisberg (best sports commentator name evar!) We laughed so hard at some of his superlative comments at Sochi that we were in tears. That is bang for your youtube buck as far as we are concerned. The American and Canadian commentary was funny but didn’t quite rate like the Slick Swede. The lols were desperately needed and Raunchy Rob didn’t let me down. During the Sweden vs Canada gold medal final his nuggets were pure comedic gold. “Sweden need more penetration.” “He’s being smothered by two or three Canadians (I hope to go the same way).” “Winning makes everything feel better.” We lost our shit when he said “sniff of a loose puck.” It was as if I was back in high school math class, trying in vain to not get busted laughing because I’d chosen to sit next to one of the funniest guys in my year level.