No more mystery


Had to pick my mate’s kid up from ice hockey camp today. Flynn is having a great time. Me not so much. Had to help peel all the stinky sweaty gear off the kid and then put them in the storage room. Gross. There is no longer any mystery what happens down in the rooms at the rink. I dont know what I thought happened down there but the reality is way less glamourous. Not as sexy as Keanu makes it look.


Ranginui and Papatuanuku

rangi and papa

I’ve been crook. I’ve had to go to the hospital a few times and had to recover.Still on the mend. Haven’t written much, had wanted to submit for the Ada Cambridge prize that closed on Tuesday 8 March 2016. Instead I was in a morphine and anaesthetic fugue from the emergency surgery I’d lived through the day before. I hadn’t been able to polish the piece I had been working on for submission in the week leading up to it because I was very ill but passing myself off as okay. I keep coming back to this picture: The Sky-father and the Earth-mother. They were pulled apart by their children, Tane the god of forests and trees managed to tear them apart. That’s how I feel.Torn apart. Torn in two. Never reconciled.

Melbourne Market Grocery Service

Delivering market-bought veggies to tables.

Most of us have that idyllic image of spending our weekends at local farmers markets but more often than not life gets in the way and we end up visiting the local supermarket, left feeling overcharged and overwhelmed.

Ugly Veggies is a Melbourne-based shopping service that goes to the market for you. We know where all the best produce is, at the best prices.

Our products may not be perfectly round or straight but they taste delicious and cost a fraction of supermarket prices.

New online story launching soon but for now, if you have a shopping list sent it through and we’ll go on the hunt.

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Briefs: or how I found out Iʻd been dumped by a friend.

I had wanted to make this an upbeat post about the great time I had Friday night. Plans to inform the universe of the magnificent laughs and risque fun to be had at the Athaneum on Collins Street in Melbourne. The need to share the buzz created by the hardworking, creative, outrageously sublime team behind Briefs- the stage show. It all just fell by the wayside about ten minutes ago when I realised that not only have I lost friends because of my illness but the opportunity to copy edit a book that will come out early next year. When people say they understand your circumstances when you explain the battle you fight daily, hourly, moment to moment, maybe don’t believe them. Don’t believe they will support you on your journey down the rabbit hole and your eventual crawl out of it. They will forget your agony as soon as you finish admitting there is a problem. They will look to extricate themself as quickly as possible and as they squirm out of the tricky situation that is now your prolapsed friendship, they will wish they had never asked. Adopt a strictly Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy and you will maintain the illusion. Never show your truest self, it will only end badly for you.







I have found my ultimate. *cue angelic choir* It began with a random meme about beards retweeted by a Canadian Olympian. I followed my curiosity and discovered I have a dream man. AND THIS DREAM MAN IS LOCATED IN TORONTO!!!

All these years I’ve been stomping and kicking and screaming and crying and plotting because the guy I’m meant to have could not be in this city. I’m dead wrong, friends.


Casually living life in Toronto without me. RUDE!

Photo by Oz John Tekson Photo by Oz John Tekson

Just a mess and loving every second of it. I CANNOT!

Photo by Christoph Strube Photo by Christoph Strube

All. Black. Everything. TAKE ME NOW!

Photo by Steve Carty Photo by Steve Carty

But whips & chains excite ME TOO!

JaBG - JMJ3 chains Photo by Oz John Tekson

Back to basics on a white seamless like a GAT…

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Real Talk with Josh Mario John


As you know, I found Josh Mario John via internet meme in May, you can refresh your memory here. Through the kindness of strangers, I was able to connect with him for this JaBG interview exclusive (I absolutely love the sound of this and it’s my goal to hunt down more people I find interesting and bring them to your eyeholes). I was super curiouso to learn a little more about the man who, you will soon discover, is much more than chiseled features of bearded & tattooed greatness. But he’s still that…too…as well… *ahem* Now,  sit back and enjoy my…


Photo by Lane Dorsey Photo by Lane Dorsey

In your line of work, first impressions are key. With your specific aesthetic (beard, tattoos, all-around bad@ssery), clients know what to expect when you walk through the door, physically-speaking.  Is anyone ever surprised by your personality and well-spoken nature?


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